Empathy or the ability to put yourself in someone else' position is rare these days. Maybe because it is a dangerous thing, because if you empathize with the other, you will lose the will to fight against his position as ferociously so as to win. But it is also the quality that make us human.
I seem to be losing that quality these days. Filled with bitterness and frustration, I have come to view that a large part of my problems lie with someone else. The hatred against that person is overcoming my initial inclination to absorb the pains as part of the learning process. I am questioning wether what I am doing is worth it or am just wasting my time for a false ideal. Yes, I have the graduate student blues!
But that thought doesn't comfort me. I do not want to be comforted that everyone goes through these phases and I will come out better at the end. For I do not know about the future, but I know whats happening today. I have to take action and react to the way I feel right now. I have to understand what is going on and why I am feeling that way.
Its a mixed feeling and something I have rarely experienced ever. On the one hand it is frustratingly painful, but on the other hand it is mysterious. I cannot be sure if it is all bad or there is some good. Maybe it is both.
So finally a bit of rant out of my system and onto the blog.