About Me

Rebel without a cause!

Monday, February 26, 2007

On Love

Why is love so hard? Why is it when you have so strong an emotion towards someone, that is not reciprocated in the same measure or even if it is, fate wills against it? Is there anything like 'true' love or is it just to find it in whoever fate makes your companion (if you surrender) for the rest of your life?
A friend is hurt again by this emotion. He felt something which he never felt ever before but alas he was disappointed. And for me, it causes pain. For i know exactly how it feels, and his pain is a sign to me too of what might be in store ahead. And even if (its a big if) i get lucky, i will still feel bad because he couldn't get one thing he should.

listening to Dylans' 'Blowing in the wind'

7 comments:

Mosilager said...

It's one of those things, life is richer because of the feeling - but if disappointment comes it's a bad low - tell your friend to make like Salman Khan in Saajan, 4 baje rita, 5 baje seeta, 6 baje meeta aur 7 baje dad ne bahut peeta.

Emmie said...

Thats what love is all about. Do peep my Love blog and lemme know how you like it.Have a great week ahead.

Manjunath said...

Have you read this article?

Sreekumar said...

@Mosilager: truer words havent been spoken!


@Emmie: Thanks for dropping by and have a great life ahead

@manjunath: Thanks a lot for that article. It was something which seemed true intutively, good that they have measure brain activity and confirmed it.
For in many ways, love for someone other than ur kin is something learnt and it is not needed for survival, while sex is.

Manjunath said...

For in many ways, love for someone other than ur kin is something learnt

First of all, I do not know loving your kin is the same as love between two unrelated persons. We need one more experiment on that.

Also, I believe these two things cannot be compared. The kin relationships have 15-20 years of unbroken togetherness. Let's assume, a child is taken away from his parents and left at some other couple. As s/he grows up without knowing the truth, will his/her love for non-biological parents is any less than that s/he would have felt with biological parents? As I see it, kin love is largely learnt because of constant companionship. Similar will be the case with the parents who got their child replaced without their knowledge.

and it is not needed for survival, while sex is.

From an individual point of view love is needed for survival and not sex. An individual may commit suicide or ruin his life or can be a living corpse because of broken love.

Again, my above statement is not completely right. As I don't belive in generalizing these findings about love. I believe there can be spectrum of expressions in the intensity of love just like that in lust or in sexual orientation. But it was just that the many past societies accepted only one of these expressions and rejected the rest.

Ambooj Tiwari said...

Oh boy! Now, we all know that feeling don't we! But statistically speaking, I believe more people are unlucky in love than lucky. Unless your friend is an elitist and hates being in the 'hoi polloi' category, I think he will be back in sometime. After all, if you run out of fuel or are too tired to drive, don't you just pull into the shoulder for a minute, rest, feel sorry for a li'l bit, fix the situation or just wait, shrug your shoulders & jump back in and drive again! Life's a highway and aren't we missing the journey by overstaying at the shoulder. Keep making the pit-stops though! In the end you will be glad you stopped! I guess you get used to it after sometime if you stop avoiding the situation! The more you know, the faster you recover!!!

Sreekumar said...

@manjunath
Here we go again :-)
Anyways,
The kin relationships have 15-20 years of unbroken togetherness.

I must clarify by kin, I mean anyone with whom you have an existential relationship. It might even be your close friend or anyone who took care of you when you were young and helpless. So there the love has a selfish basis. Ofcourse, this argument can be extended to the other love cos that is also subconsciously selfish since we expect to live together with that person.

From an individual point of view love is needed for survival and not sex
Again I am not focussing on the individual aspect. In that sense, neither love nor sex is essential (as the case of a sanyasi or a nun). But sex is a powerful basic instinct hardwired in the individual to ensure survival of the species while ,in that sense, love is not hardwired and is probably learnt.

As I don't belive in generalizing these findings about love. I believe there can be spectrum of expressions in the intensity of love just like that in lust or in sexual orientation. But it was just that the many past societies accepted only one of these expressions and rejected the rest.

I think that is very true. Here I do not think we are diagonally opposite and arguing about the position. It is more of explaining where we stand so that the grey area in between can become clearer.

@Booze:
I have much to learn from you and this life, master :P